Angry? Depressed? Hurt? I just dont know

A friend asked me to go look at a house for him today. It was by far the nastiest house Id ever seen and needs lots of work. The neighborhood wasnt much better. The realtor was very honest with me, said he wouldnt want his child going to the neighborhood school, and my friend has a child, and even suggested they call the local police dept. to check on the crime rate as there is heavy gang activity in the vicinity. Called my friend, who had assured me he trusted my opinion, and he is going to buy it anyway. WHY did I go to look at the place? WHY did I bother to ask questions and become informed? WHY do I get involved in this stuff? Now I just feel down and out, like I want to cry and scream and break things....ugh. I hate feeling this way.

my heart

I hope she appreciates you for the spectacular man you are. We agreed we were friends but I know my heart and that you have a piece of it and I think that I have a piece of yours. I hope she never betrays you and that the two of you are very happy. That is the best thing I can give to you...the freedom to love her without the guilt of me in the way.

Hump day

The middle of the week, I love the turn of the week. Monday and Tuesday are just like Ive heard described so many times...an uphill climb. Then comes Wednesday when you go over the peak and look at the downhill run. That pretty much describes my week. The beginning of the week I introduce new ideas to my class and we struggle through it then we begin winding those lessons up and coast on into the assessment time. Sometimes a test or a project or an activity that is just meant to be fun but shows me what they learned.

Another reason I really enjoy my Wednesdays and Thursdays is because I do reading groups on those days. It gives me a chance to meet with my students in a small group setting and really work on those individual skills that are needed and also a chance to just enjoy the kids. I love it.

Today we had a tornado drill, the first drills are always so much fun...not. We go out get into position and then we have to see if the students are in the safest place available, it takes a lot of shuffling to find the perfect place...safety is first. I think we did finally get it where everyone was as safe as possible.

Not much has gone on at home, Ive just kicked back and am relaxing. I need to go load the dishwasher and fold the laundry that is in the dryer. Ill get it done before bedtime. Well that's it for my day. Hope everyone has a good Thursday.

What's Happening

Wow, September since I blogged. I'm so bad at this, probably no one will see this having been deceived into believing I have fall into a dark black hole somewhere and no blogging is allowed. But I have escaped!!

It's been a crazy winter here in NC. We had 2 snow days in January, which we have to make up during Spring Break. BOO!! Very wrong decision but I won't get on my soap box about that tonight. Then March 1st brought us 3 more inches of the lovely white stuff and we had 2 days with 2 hour delays. At least those we dont have to make up. So...Monday, 3 inches of snow and not even up to freezing and by Friday it is supposed to be 72 degrees. Im ready for warm weather.

I was supposed to have gone to FL this last weekend for a surprise baby shower for my youngest sister who is expecting her first baby in April. Yes, Im going to have another nephew, Josiah Jude. I can't wait!! I hope he is here by the time my spring break comes so I can go visit. My other nephew is going to be 21 in April, that is so hard to believe. But I digress, my mom and other sister flew down from IN for the shower and I was supposed to drive down, a 12 hour drive. However, the weekend before I twisted my knee and it still wasnt doing very well and I thought that 12 hours down and 12 hours back probably wouldnt help the cause any so I ended up not going. I did help with the surprise though. Cyndi thought I was the only one coming and that I was just coming to visit. So I called her and asked her to pick me up at the hotel, she had no clue I was sitting in my apt. in NC, I was on the phone with mom when Cyndi got the motel and I heard her say..."What are you doing here?" and "where's Bonnie?" It made me cry but I was happy for her.

My personal life is...well, I dont know what to say about it. I feel like a third wheel in my own life sometimes...lol. There is someone in my life, but I feel, sometimes that he doesnt really have time for me. It's like Im an after thought. I just want to say sometimes "Stop and pay some attention to me" but I tried that before and he got defensive and it led to a big fight. I dont want that. Oh well.

Last November when I went home for Thanksgiving I took my neice to see the move Twilight and after seeing it I wanted to read the book, I read it this weekend, the whole thing then got on amazon.com and ordered the other three sequels. I am waiting impatiently for them to get here so I can read them. I love to read, I can lose myself in the book and forget whats going on in the rest of my life.

I need to get to bed. Maybe Ill have more to say tomorrow.